Aether, Light, Dreams, Dust....

In solitude it sometimes feels I am most at one with everyone. When no one knows I'm watching or listening. That solitude inside a crowd. Try it sometime, just watch people. Sit down at the mall- and look into a store, and watch people's faces as they think. Sure- a lot of them are thinking about whatever it is they're shopping for. But just as often they're going through this kind of James Joyce style run through of things going on in their lives. They start with the immediate and go onto the esoteric worries and joys of their lives and it all shows on the face. And the most surprising thing about everyone I've watched: There are a startling number of horribly lonely people who ache for a single loving hand to reach out and touch them. For just a moment, even. To let them know they're loved by another human being.

Maybe that's all I wanted to say really, to everyone. That I love you. Its important for you to know that even though I can't help you with money, I might be able to just give you support, at least in text form for the moment. It reminds me of a song, actually, One of my favorite. Death Cab For Cutie's 'Someday You will be Loved'. Now, despite the fact that the narrator of the song does something horrible, with his one-night stand kind thing. Still, I know its true: You'll be loved like you never have known.

Its funny that a song about hurting someone would make me think of that, I suppose. But, again it does seem the ultimate aim of that song is to soften a blow- and to tell a truth, to me at least. Let it be today. I'll love you. Not romantically, just the love of one being to another.

This post has become oddly Joycean itself. Again, appropriate given the theme. But, I do know there's one kind of Love I know I haven't felt yet. But I want to. So badly. The kind of love that wraps you up, and holds you so close and when you think you've gotten as high as you can- it kills a part of you. And, as you wake up- feeling hurt, you realize that even though a part of you died, something else took its place. Something from the person you love and that now, they'll always be part of you- forever. That's the kind of love I want.

Any takers?